Troy is activated!!

So, This is Thom.. I went on the Blog today and noticed that Shell has not been able to update everyone.. God bless her, she's at home today making sure that the daycare provider is up to speed on what she needs to know and making sure that Troy is as happy as he can be.

SHE IS A GREAT MOMMY!!

Ok, enough about my awesome wife..

Troy was activated and we were all excited. His Nana and Aunt Coco was able to make it to the hospital to help with video, pictures and general keeping up with Troy. It was as I expected.. THERE WAS NO MAJOR REACTION.. not in a bad way of course.. we knew he may do it but his cracker was much more interesting to him than the new noises in his head.. That is until the audiologist kicked the processor up a notch.. Level 2... He looked at me, then at Shelley and buried his head into his Mommy's lap with a little bit of crying. We were saddened and happy that we knew he was getting something.. but we moved back to level 1 for the rest of the day.

As anyone that has been through this can attest to it is a fun battle to keep it on his head. Thank goodness for aviator caps.. they are the best thing ever.

I am sure Shell will get on here, realize I beat her to the punch, change her password, and then post pictures and the link to the Youtube video. We were not able to load it here or on Facebook due to the size of the video clip of the actual activation..

Thank you all for keeping up with our family.. God bless you all....


"King"? Thom

4 days until ACTIVATION!!

That's right...Monday, November 16th at 1:00 TROY GETS ACTIVATED!!!


I AM THRILLED!!!!!!!!!

24 Days until activation!

I just scheduled Troy's activation with the hospital:

Monday, November 16th at 1:00 pm!!!!

I can't WAIT!!!

~*~*~24 days and counting~*~*~

Surgery is OVER - Picture Update

The cochlear implant (left side) surgery is OVER!!! Sorry I did not update earlier, but I was a MESS. Here are the pictures of how it went. We go to get the stiches out in about 1 hour.

6:00 am on Tuesday, October 13. Troy was all smiles as he got to play with some bubbles. His mom, dad, Nana, Papa, Pummy and Grandma Kelley were all there.

Right after surgery. It may look like he's smiling, but he's just waking up and crying pretty hard. I was crying pretty hard too...

After 16 hours of not eating, he finally got some glucose water in the recovery room. And then the meds made him pass back out.

Waking up a few hours later in the hospital room, he got his first bites of good food. Some vanilla pudding and crackers (his favorite) were yummy. Too bad he threw it up all over mommy an hour later.

Aunt Coco came over from her job at the other part of the hospital. Troy really was happy to see her, but too tired to deal with company at this point.

Look at the doll Nana brought him. She even put a bandage around it's head so it could be like Troy! I love this picture - so innocent!

Even big brother Dean came up to visit that night. Troy was tired and getting sick of company, but was VERY happy to see his big brother.

He's always happy when his Nana holds him.

Much better now that I threw up again. Notice mommy's change of clothes?

It was night time and I decided I didn't want to go to sleep. I would much rather play in my metal hospital crib.

At 3:00 am I still didn't want to sleep, so nice Nurse Kim decided to take me out to the nurses' station so mommy and daddy could sleep for a while. If you notice the clock in the background (on the wall) says 3:00 am!!

Just as the doctor predicted, the next morning Troy was feeling MUCH better. He would wave out the window inbetween taking bites of Mommy's breakfast.

2 days after surgery mom and dad get to remove my "helmet". I am happy here because Mommy cut my chin strap off.

Showing off my new do. 18 stiches that daddy says "looks like a worm". The incision was much bigger than mommy and daddy thought it would be. They also shaved off more hair than they thought...I didn't have much to begin with!

Troy is 1!!

Troy turned 1 at 8:07am this morning! Here are his 1 year old pictures! Enjoy!!!!

Surgery Freak Out

WE GOT APPROVAL FOR TROY'S SURGERY! Yay us!

But since we have gotten approval, I have had 2 full blown anxiety attacks that he is going to die during the surgery.

Now, please don't give me a lecture. Anxiety attacks are not something I have asked for or want. These are something I have been having for about 4 years and they come and go, but now they are back in FULL FORCE. I am trying (with my therapist and medication) to get a handle on them, but they seem to be kicking my butt.

What am I anxious about? In the height of an attack, I am convinced that Troy will fall into the small percentage that will die during his surgery. I am convinced that something will go wrong and we will have to bury him and that I will not be able to live my life without him.

Right now I am fine, but during the attacks all reason goes out the window. Sunday was bad because I realized that his surgery was 1 month away. For some reason I thought we had longer. When I say "I thought we had longer" my mind says "he only had 1 month to live and you better enjoy him". During an attack I plan out what his funeral will be like. During an attack I am convinced that when (not if, WHEN) Troy dies I will become a crazy, bed ridden woman who has to give my other son away because I cannot handle being a mom at all.

During an attack I pray. I pray constantly. So please don't tell me that I need to give this to God. This is something I have been trying to give to God for 4 years, so telling me (yes, I've had this happen) that I am not giving this to God or trusting God enough is a slap in the face.

My therapist and I have made a plan of attack for the surgery. I will knock myself out with medication. I will sleep through the 2 1/2 hour surgery and hopefully wake up to good news.

I have 29 days left until his surgery. I know I will have many more attacks. I have medicine to knock me out when this happens, but if they happen during the day at work or at home, I cannot medicate. I am scared. I pray for help. I have weekly therapy appointments and might have to make them twice weekly now. I am scared that these next 29 days are leading up to his death.

Always, Sometimes, Never

I always
*want chips and cheese
*know exactly how much is in my bank account
*give my sleeping kids extra kisses on their heads before I go to bed
*like to grocery shop
*wanted a big family
*talk to God
*am thankful for my husband

I sometimes
*leave dirty diapers on our bed after I change Troy in the morining
*go out to eat, even though I know we don't have enough money
*dream about high school, never the people - always the school work
*don't look at the weather and dress my kids totally inappropriately
*admit to my Facebook addiction - but not often
*watch bad reality tv shows

I never
*stop worrying about my family
*dust
*go anywhere without my purple calendar
*stop thinking "how does my hair look"
*let my family take the Lord's name in vain without a lecture
*want to regret my life